So I've not posted over the weekend. To be honest I've not been doing to well - I haven't cheated on the diet/exercise though I came close a couple of times. I just felt like I didn't really achieve anything worthwhile.
I went to a Christening yesterday and saw a few friends and had a few drinks, which was good fun, but everyone was coupled up and it just made me feel a bit like a fifth wheel. I don't really have anyone to talk to when I'm feeling down - or when I'm feeling up either - so I do end up just going into myself and letting things become much bigger in my head than they actually are.
Case in point, I got home last night, admittedly a little drunk from the afternoon session in the pub, and looked on facebook. Lo and behold there's a picture of my ex-fiancée with her boyfriend at a wedding, and everyone is telling her how nice she looks and how good they look together as a couple. Not only that but members of my own family going on there and liking it as well. Now I don't want to get back together with her - that would be a very bad move for a million different reasons - but it just knocked my confidence a bit.
It doesn't help that what would have been our wedding is coming up in about a month so that's going to be a tough thing to get through for me. I suspect she won't even remember it to be honest - that kind of thing happens when you get over a 5 year relationship and start a new one within a few weeks - you just don't care.
I did at least not break any of the rules, though I came very close to ordering a Dominos pizza last night. I also did both my runs this weekend (though I still haven't done my extra one to make up for Thursday yet - I think that will be Tuesday now).
Anyway you're probably sick of me moaning - I really should be over Hannah by now. To be honest if I was seeing someone else I probably wouldn't give her a second thought (the same as she doesn't with me) but it's difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel when I have so much more weight to lose before I'm going to feel confident enough to put myself out there again. I'll get there though - I'm not going to quit because of a couple of bad days...
Starting weight: 21st / 294lbs / 133.4kg
Current Weight: 20st 7.25lbs / 287.25lbs / 130.3kg
Weight lost (Week 2): 0st 6.75lbs / 6.75lbs / 3.1kgs
Total time run: 4h 34m
Total distance run: 39.85km
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